Sharing your engagement news is incredibly exciting – but it inevitably comes hand in hand with an avalanche of questions. While some queries (like, “have you set a date?”) are totally harmless, others (like, “am I invited?”) can be a little trickier to navigate!
Don’t stress, because we’ve compiled some simple responses for you to keep up your sleeve throughout the wedding planning journey. Keep reading for 6 tricky questions you’ll probably receive after getting engaged, and our top tips on how to deal with them.
Tricky Question #1: “So, Am I Invited?”
Eek – this one has the potential to be seriously uncomfortable, especially if you’re caught off guard! While you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, you should also avoid getting their hopes up or setting the wrong expectations.
Instead, be brief, honest and polite. You don’t need to go into detail – simply explain that your wedding will be small and intimate, or that your venue or budget is limited. For example:
“We haven’t had a chance to sit down and finalise the guest list just yet! We’re planning a small, intimate wedding, so it will mostly be limited to family,”
Or
“As much as we’d love to invite everyone, we have a really tight budget and have to keep our guest list small. We hope you understand!”
Or
“Unfortunately our venue is limited with numbers, so we’ve had to cap our guest list to mainly family and old friends.”
While it might feel awkward at the moment, you should never feel guilty or responsible for any hurt feelings. Remember, this is your day, and you have total freedom to invite the people who mean the most to you and your partner.
Tricky Question #2: “Am I a Bridesmaid?”
It’s almost impossible to make everyone happy when choosing your wedding party, especially if you have a large group of friends.
The best response to this question will depend on your relationship with the person asking. If it’s not somebody you’re particularly close with, you don’t need to offer an elaborate explanation. Keep things simple with an honest response like:
“We’ve decided to keep our bridal party small, so it will just be my sisters and closest childhood friends. I’m looking forward to celebrating with you on the day!”
However, if you have a closer relationship with the person asking, you might want to take a more gentle approach. If possible, try to have this conversation with them before the question even gets asked, and take the opportunity to reassure them about how much you value their friendship. We recommend a sincere, heartfelt response, like:
“Unfortunately we both had to make some sacrifices to keep our wedding party at even numbers. I just want you to know how much I value our friendship, and how excited I am to celebrate with you on the day.”
Depending on how close your relationship is, you might also want to consider some other special ways you can include them in your wedding. For example, inviting them to your wedding dress appointments, or asking them to do a reading at your ceremony.
Tricky Question #3: “Can I Bring a Plus One?”
The best way to deal with the topic of plus ones is to set expectations upfront on your wedding invitations or wedding website. If you still receive a plus one request, simply provide a practical reason such as venue capacity or budget restrictions. This will take the emotion out of it – and more than likely, your guests will be totally understanding of your position. As an example:
“Unfortunately we’ve already reached the maximum number of guests for our venue so are unable to accommodate plus ones. We hope you understand – looking forward to seeing you on the day!”
Or
“Due to budget restrictions, we’re sadly unable to offer plus ones. We really appreciate your understanding and can’t wait to celebrate with you!”
Tricky Question #4: “Can I Bring my Kids?”
Kids at weddings can be a delicate issue! While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with hosting a child-free wedding, you’ll want to be tactful in how you respond to these guests.
Most parents will actually be appreciative about a night away from their little ones, but others may expect that their children are welcome. Keep your response simple and to the point, but don’t feel like you need to apologise or justify your decision.
For example:
“We’ve decided to host an adults-only celebration so everyone can let their hair down! Looking forward to celebrating with you guys”
Or
“Although we love your little ones, our venue isn’t suitable for children under 16. We appreciate your understanding!”
Again, the best way to approach this topic is by setting expectations upfront via your wedding website. You can find our wedding website wording examples for tricky situations here!
Tricky Question #5: “How Much are You Spending on the Wedding?”
Asking about your finances is seriously rude, but unfortunately, this can be a common question from nosy guests! We recommend shutting down any budget queries with a short, vague response before tactfully changing the subject. For example:
“Who knows! We’re paying for things bit by bit”
Or
“We haven’t worked out a budget yet, we’re still in the early planning stages”
Or
“We don’t have a number in mind, we’re just figuring things out as we go!”
Tricky Question #6: “Can I Do Your Photos/Flowers/Cake?”
While offering their services is incredibly generous, your loved ones might not have the particular style you’re looking for – which is totally okay! Be gracious with your response, and be sure to thank them for their kindness:
“Thank you so much for the generous offer, we really appreciate it! We’ve actually already organised someone to take care of that – but this means you can relax and celebrate the day with us!”
Enjoy Your Engagement
While the above questions can be an uncomfortable part of the wedding planning journey, don’t let them stress you out or put a dampener on your engagement! Simply keep these responses handy, and you’ll be able to navigate your way out of any tricky situation with ease.
No idea where to start planning your wedding? Read these 8 things every couple should do after getting engaged.