Being asked to be a best man or groomsman is a huge honor – but with great power comes great responsibility!
From planning the bachelor party to managing logistical tasks and delivering a memorable speech, these roles involve more than simply standing by the groom’s side on the day.
If you’re wondering exactly what you’ve signed up for, don’t worry – we’ve got you covered! Read on as we dive into the key duties and responsibilities of the best man and groomsmen, so you can handle them with confidence.
Best Man vs. Groomsmen: What’s the Difference?
The best man and groomsmen are more than just the groom’s entourage – they play key roles in ensuring the wedding day is a success. But while the best man and groomsmen are both integral to the wedding, their responsibilities differ slightly.
Think of the best man as the groom’s “right-hand man”. They’ll have more of a leadership role, overseeing various tasks and managing the groomsmen. On the other hand, the groomsmen play more of a general support role, assisting the best man and ensuring the groom has everything he needs throughout the day.
While their responsibilities may differ slightly, the main priority for both the best man and groomsmen is to make sure the groom has a stress-free and enjoyable experience, both before and during the celebration.
Best Man Duties and Responsibilities
The role of the best man starts well before the wedding day! From managing the groomsmen to holding the rings, here are the crucial best man duties and responsibilities you need to know.
Before the Wedding
Organize the Bachelor Party
One of the most well-known responsibilities of the best man is planning the bachelor party. This involves coordinating with the groomsmen to ensure the event fits the groom’s preferences, from a laid-back weekend away to an epic night out. The best man will typically be the one arranging the date, location and activities, and liaising with guests to arrange RSVPs, payment and transport.
Assist with Suit Selection and Fitting
The best man also plays a key role in selecting the groom’s and groomsmen’s attire. He may accompany the groom to fittings, help choose a suit style, and make sure everyone gets their measurements done on time.
Provide Emotional Support
Planning a wedding can be stressful at times, and the best man is there to provide emotional support for the groom. Whether it’s lending a listening ear or offering advice, one of the most important roles of the best man is helping to keep the groom grounded during the planning process.
Help with Ad Hoc Wedding Planning Tasks
In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man may also be called upon to help with minor logistics as needed. For example: coordinating transport for the day, organizing accommodation for out-of-town guests, or checking in with vendors to ensure everything is on track.
On the Wedding Day
Holding the Rings
One of the most important tasks the best man will perform is holding the wedding rings during the ceremony, keeping them safe and ready to hand over when needed!
Help the Groom Get Ready
On the morning of the wedding, the best man will help the groom prepare. This could mean arranging breakfast, fixing his bow tie, or helping the groom stay calm and focused. The best man may also organize a wedding morning activity with the groomsmen, such as surfing, fishing or golf.
Organize the Groomsmen
The best man is also responsible for keeping the groomsmen on schedule, ensuring everyone is ready for photos, departing for the ceremony, and other key events on the wedding day timeline. Essentially, he’ll be acting as the leader and timekeeper of the group, coordinating everyone’s roles on the big day.
Give a Speech or Toast
One of the traditional roles of the best man is to deliver a speech at the wedding reception. Whether it’s a funny or heartfelt toast (ideally, a mix of both!), this is the best man’s opportunity to share stories about the groom and offer well-wishes and advice to the newlyweds.
Witness and Sign the Marriage Certificate
As an official witness to the marriage, the best man may also sign the marriage certificate along with the maid of honor following the ceremony.
Help the Couple Depart
After the reception, the best man often ensures the getaway car or transport is ready for the couple’s exit. He might also help gather the couple’s belongings or make sure gifts and cards are safely stored.
Groomsmen Duties and Responsibilities
While the groomsmen may not be as heavily involved in the logistics as the best man, they still play a critical role both before and during the big day! Here are the typical groomsmen duties and responsibilities to support the groom and ensure the day runs smoothly.
Before the Wedding
Attend Suit Fittings
Groomsmen are expected to attend suit fittings before the wedding, and may also be involved in selecting colors and styles for their attire.
Help Plan the Bachelor Party
While the best man usually takes the lead here, the groomsmen are also responsible for helping to plan the bachelor party. This includes pitching in for expenses, coordinating logistics, and making sure it’s a memorable celebration for the groom.
On the Wedding Day
Assist with Guest Seating
Before the ceremony begins, groomsmen often help seat guests, particularly those who require special assistance. This ensures the ceremony begins promptly and everyone is comfortably seated.
Help the Groom Get Ready
On the wedding day, groomsmen are there to support the groom as he prepares. This can involve lightening the mood, calming his nerves, and ensuring he’s punctual for the ceremony!
Support the Best Man
Groomsmen also assist the best man with his duties throughout the day. This may involve helping with logistics, directing guests, or providing additional support during the reception.
Best Man and Groomsmen Joint Duties
While the best man and groomsmen may be responsible for different things, they also have some joint duties to carry out together! These include:
Attend Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner
Both the best man and groomsmen are expected to attend the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. This ensures the entire group is familiar with the ceremony process and prepared for the big day.
Escort Bridesmaids Down the Aisle
During the ceremony, the groomsmen traditionally escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. Alternatively, they may enter the ceremony with the groom and officiant before standing up at the altar.
Participate in Formal Photos
Both the best man and groomsmen will usually be involved in the wedding’s formal photo sessions and group shots. This typically happens shortly after the ceremony, once family portraits have been taken.
Helping with DIY Wedding Projects
In the lead-up to the wedding, groomsmen and the best man may also be called upon to assist with any DIY wedding projects. Whether it’s assembling favors, creating handmade backdrops or transporting supplies, they can lend a hand wherever needed.
Give a Thoughtful Gift
Traditional wedding etiquette states that the best man and groomsmen are also expected to pitch in for a gift to the groom. Some ideas could include a nice bottle of liquor, a weekender bag or a gift card to his favorite store.
Help Clean or Pack Up
While many wedding venues will have staff for cleaning up, the groomsmen and best man can also assist with packing up personal belongings, decorations, or anything else the couple might need. This ensures the venue is left in good condition, and the couple can leave stress-free!
Best Man and Groomsmen FAQs
Can the best man or groomsmen be a woman?
Absolutely! Many modern weddings are more inclusive of non-traditional roles, and having a female best man or “groomswoman” is becoming increasingly common. It’s all about who the groom feels closest to and wants by his side on the big day, regardless of gender.
Do groomsmen give speeches?
Typically, the best man gives a speech at the wedding reception, rather than the groomsmen. However, some groomsmen may offer a short toast or say a few words during the rehearsal dinner if they feel comfortable doing so! If public speaking isn’t your thing, it’s perfectly acceptable to leave the speeches to the best man and other designated speakers.
What are the best man and groomsmen expected to pay for?
Traditionally, the best man and groomsmen are expected to cover certain costs related to their role in the wedding. This typically includes their wedding attire (suit or tuxedo rental or purchase), travel and accommodation for the wedding (if applicable), and their share of the bachelor party expenses.
Read our helpful guide to wedding party costs here!
Being chosen as a best man or groomsman is more than just wearing a suit and standing beside the groom. It’s about offering support, sharing in the joy, and helping make the day memorable. So embrace the honor, have fun, and enjoy the celebration!